The Unburdened Minimalist Life

My life is complicated and I’m guessing yours is too. Both of my kids require a bit of extra support – my son has severe food allergies and seems particularly sensitive to most foods prepared outside the home, and my daughter has cystic fibrosis. I knew that life would get more complicated once kids arrived, but holy smokes, I wasn’t ready for all of this.

This past year has been especially overwhelming for both myself and my husband. We’ve had to adjust to a daily care regiment for my daughter that involves inhaled medications followed by chest physical therapy twice a day to help dislodge any excess mucus in her lungs. My son started having more issues with this asthma, so we completely overhauled our diet to a Paleo diet free of grains, dairy and sugar. The change has been hugely beneficial (he rarely uses meds as a result), but I have to cook… a lot. I’ve been growing my business with with genuine intention for the first time ever, which is all very exciting, but also demanding. Our childcare over the past year has been fabulous, but not always consistent, which means my hours are constantly being sacrificed for the kids. And then you have to remember that my husband and I have been adjusting to child number two in a new town. We moved here when June was only 5-weeks old and we had just learned that she had CF.

Do you see what I mean when I say that my life is complicated? While I seem to have the personality and stamina to manage all of this (and I make the choice to continue on this path), I have a breaking point and I surpassed that point earlier this year. The truth is that I’m overwhelmed and I’m somewhat desperate for a break that I can’t seem to find.

The Solution

The good news is that I’m a solutions-oriented realist. I’ve struggled off and on with people’s perceptions of my realism, because I often feel that it’s viewed as pessimism. I recently read a quote that said something to the extent of:

“The optimist hopes that the wind will change direction, the pessimist complains that it’s blowing the wrong way, but the realist adjusts the sails”

I thought, OMG, that’s me! Knowing that I’m the one who “adjusts the sails” made me realize that I needed a change and I needed solutions. I turned to a book, “The Joy of Less,” and this book has been a game changer. Francine argues that every item in your home requires a small investment of time – time reading reviews to choose the best version of that product, time spent working to pay for it, time invested in dealing with the packaging, keeping your item clean, putting it back in its place, cramming it into those closets when it no longer has a use, and then shifting it around when it’s in your way. If you’re going to spend time with your things they should serve a purpose – either they bring you joy or fulfill a need. Simply keeping a thing because it’s a “good thing” isn’t reason enough to continue investing time into that material possession. Francine further discusses our tendency towards excess. Why is is that we need 10 sets of sheets when we only use one at a time? How many kitchen knives can I possible use? How many do we really need? 

Your Best Life

I love looking at my things in this new light – does this thing bring me joy? Does it serve a purpose? No. Then why do I own it? Emotional ties, obligations, I’m used to looking at it, someone gave it to me and now I’m expected to keep it. There are many reasons to own goods other than owning them for a real purpose. In order for me to truly embrace this minimalist approach to living, I had to first get over my emotional ties to some of the items in my home. I had to stop thinking about others and only think about myself and my needs. So, I asked myself a simple series of questions:

• Why type of life do you want to live?
• Who do you want to be?
• Can you accomplish those things if you’re continually investing time in useless materials goods?

The answers just started pouring out. I want to be a good mom and spend more quality time with my kids, especially while they’re young. I want less chaos in my house. I want to be outside more. I want to have more time for consistent exercise. I want to make less of an ecological impact on this earth, build an online business, write a book, offer online courses, teach people how to garden, expand my garden, teach people how to cook. I want to do more crafts with the kids. I want to teach the kids how to cook. I want to volunteer. 

It felt so good to take the time to recognize all of the things that I want out of life and to then realize that my material possessions were not part of this plan. I mean, they’re not anywhere in there! In fact, material goods are only hindering my most wanted version of life! But, how can this be? I’ve believed for years that success is measured by the size of your home and the beauty of the goods that you fill it with, but now I’m seeing that my false dream is holding me back?

The Unburdened, Minimalist Life

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend one more wasted afternoon organizing our excess sheets or toys when I could be outside playing with my kids and tending to my garden. I don’t want to waste one more second fiddling with the overflowing utensils drawer when I could be sitting at the table for two more minutes with my family enjoying a meal. I’m done. I want freedom. I want to rid myself of this tremendous burden of stuff that I’ve been carrying around for years. 

I started the purge in my bedroom. I went through my drawers, our closets, the floor (yes, the floor was covered in junk), my jewelry, shoes, and every other nook and cranny in my room. I looked at every item and asked “does this bring me joy or does it serve a purpose?” I then moved to the kids’ rooms, bathrooms, hall closets, living room and eventually kitchen. I got rid of things that I actually can’t believe that I let go, but I feel so much better to have claimed more space. I need space. I need to breathe, relax, and have a home that enables me to do so. 

Some of the material possessions that I let go were memorabilia from my past. I’ll list everything in a moment, but the reality is that these material goods are tying me to the past, a life that has already been lived. My dream is to have a better future. Do I want to keep living in the past, remembering have been’s and by gone’s or do I want to live in the here and now? So, I let it go. All of it. Besides, what I am going to do? Keep all of this crap around, pass it down to my kids and then let it be their burden? Impart keepsakes that have no meaning to them, but now they’re obligated to keep my meaningful pieces of junk? No. I want my kids living in the moment as well. I want them to live happy, healthy lives that aren’t burdened by excess and unnecessary goods.

The Purge

So, you’re wondering what I got rid of… I’m going to share, but I’m also going to say that some of these items had emotional ties. My family members may read this and be shocked at my actions, but I just hope they understand my motivations. I’ve never been one to be particularly sentimental over material things, but I’m even less so now. I need peace and I’m finding it through minimalism. Okay, so… here we go:

• Toys, toys, toys and more toys. My kids now have a box of Duplos, two small stuffed bears, a baby doll, a Playmobil space shuttle, a Playmobil fort, 2 box cars, 2 tennis balls, a frisbee, a small indoor  trampoline, a big pile of books, a baseball glove, some Lincoln Logs, and that’s about it. There are a few toys downstairs for outside play, but not much. I’m a huge proponent of fewer toys for psychological development, but that’s for another post. 
• Clothes and shoes. I now have four items hanging in my closet. Everything else is in my drawers and even that has been drastically reduced. That lingerie I never wear? Gone. Socks with holes? Gone. Underwear that have been lingering for years? Adios. 
• Keepsakes from foreign travel. I had a whole pile of different items from Guatemala, Mexico, Ukraine, and India that I kept for no real reason. All gone. I kept the foreign money, but I hope to figure out where to cash it in. 
• My husband’s baby blanket. It was in a box and I didn’t even know it was in the closet. Do you know how many people give you blankets when you have a baby? I have no use for a nice blanket in a box. 
• Baby blankets. (See above notes about too many blankets.) I was saving these because of emotional attachment to the younger version of my children. It’s in the past. I want to be present for a better future. 
• Sheets and blankets including a nice down comforter. All things we just kept because “it’s good stuff. We might need it some day.” Well, all of those sheets are probably going to dry rot before we actually need them and those blankets were clogging up my closet. 
• Rugs that I didn’t particularly like or were just catching dirt. 
• Ice cream maker in a box… never used. 
• Diaper bags… just in case I need more than one. 
• Duplicates of hats and gloves.
• Lots of jackets and warm weather clothing that isn’t necessary in western NC. 
• The wine glasses that my husband and I used for our wedding day toast. Another sentimental item that serves no purpose. 
• Wine glasses, flasks, tumblers, shot glasses, and any other vessel that was unnecessary. Mason jars of varying sizes seem to be adequate for all beverages. 
• Coloring books and flash cards that just got thrown about the house and never used properly. 
• Games that we hadn’t touch in a decade. 
• A huge pile of varying cleaning solutions – these were replaced with two all purpose cleaners. 
• Excess mason jars.
• Excess food storage containers.
• Tons and tons of unnecessary and duplicate kitchen utensils. 
• Expired and unused medicines. 
• Most of my jewelry.
• All of my jewelry boxes.
• A heating pad and other miscellaneous items from the bathroom. 
• Books that hadn’t been opened in years. 
• Good furniture that was being stored in the attic or basement “just in case.” 
• Handmade items from family members that we’ve never used. 

I’ll go ahead and stop, because you get the idea. But there are a few messages that really stood out as I was purging. The first is that people give gifts so that you have something special, but when you receive so much stuff, none of it’s special… it’s all just stuff. How can you give someone a special bear when they already have eight? When you have less, you can be more appreciate and thankful for the items that you have. Second, I was mostly keeping all of this stuff because it was all good stuff, and why would you get rid of good stuff? The answer is simple – it’s not good to you. Third, we buy too much stuff. Way. Too. Much. Stuff. We’ve wasted thousands of dollars on useless items. 

This major purge started about a month ago and I’m certainly no where close to finishing, but I’ve already been spending far less time cleaning my house. Even when all of the kids’ toys are thrown about the room, it’s an easy clean up. In fact, my four year old told me last week that he likes having less stuff because it’s easier for him to clean. Apparently the overwhelming quantity of goods was wearing on him too. And when this project is finally over, I’ll probably start again and further whittle our goods down to just the items that are most important. I suppose you could say that minimizing is a bit addicting; it feels pretty darn good.

The Excess

As far as what to do with all of this stuff, find a local thrift store and don’t hold back. I’ve sold a few items on eBay and through local advertisement, but the major has been sent to thrift stores. The small amount of payback that you get from selling everything isn’t quite worth the trouble in my opinion. I’d rather have freedom now, than $15 in eight days after three email exchanges.

So, go for it, folks. Stop letting your material goods weigh you down. Live life today, not in the past, and always remember that every item should serve a purpose. 

Be sure to share this post with your friends, so that we can all start living the simple life!